I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
