the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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