I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
