I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
