I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
