Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
