Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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