You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
