your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
