babies were throwing up all over the place
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
