i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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