It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
