this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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