Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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