Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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