I think I am morally bankrupt
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
