I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
