So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
