oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
