I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
