he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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