margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
as a side note pls kill me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
