FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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