I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
