oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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