Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
