I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
