South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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