BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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