Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Houston, we have a blender
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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