You're completely useless in the revolution.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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