I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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