I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
