Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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