No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sponge bath it is.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
