Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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