the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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