yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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