When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize