did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
