Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
