Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
