It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
