When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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