The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
