you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
