no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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