If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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