this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
