I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
