i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
