Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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