areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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