I wish you could order shots online.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize