I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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