she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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