We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
