There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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