Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
