I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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