wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
