I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
