So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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